Story 23 - Part 2 - Shallow Personality

“How can you tell?” Jordan asked as all three slowed down.

“I locked up yesterday and the owner is in the hospital after a heart attack two days ago,” Carmine explained.

“Well, that answers the question of why you’ve been working so much, lately,” Boomer observed.

“I’m going to hire more helpers,” Carmine sighed. “But first I’m going to kick these guys out. And we just fixed the backdoor lock two weeks ago, too.”

“I thought you never had break-ins or thefts,” Jordan said.

“I think I know who it is,” Carmine said. “They’re crazy. I’ll tell you about it later. See you two.”

“Um, you do realize we’re coming with you, right?”

Carmine grinned and nodded. Jordan rolled his eyes as he followed his brother-in-law around to the back of the store. The door was wide open and the door frame was damaged. The place was dark and the backroom had a variety of odd antiques that cast unnerving shadows. Jordan had to admit that he was a little relieved when Carmine flipped on the light. Of course, with the front of the shop completely gated, that meant the thief had only one exit and was now aware of their entrance.

“Who dares disturb the lair of the almighty dark lord?!!” came the shriek.

“And I was right,” Carmine muttered. “Get ready for a monologue.”

Boomer was just trying to keep from snickering and Jordan was proud that he was able to maintain a relatively straight face. The man really did go off and monologue. It was as if someone had taken every stereotypical villain and placed them in one crazy person. In fact, the man seemed to be ranting about insubordinate subjects more to an old mannequin than to the three actual people who were standing before him.

Carmine took a step back and sighed. Jordan guessed that the younger man was trying to think of a good way of handling the situation. If anyone knew how unpredictable crazy people could be, it was probably Carmine. After all, if Jordan’s memory was correct, it had been a little less than two years ago when Carmine had gotten stuck in a freezer by that one psycho. This time, it was at least three against one man and a mannequin.

“Now here’s the part where he takes us prisoner,” Boomer muttered, proving his vast expanse of movie character archetypes.

“Guards!” the so-called dark lord cried out. “Seize them! Their fates shall be decided at dusk!”

“Should we play along?” Jordan asked.

“The pointy thing in my back and the fact that he has gained a following persuades me to say yes at the moment,” Carmine said.

Jordan looked back in surprise and saw a motley crew armed with dumpster spears and other miscellaneous weapon looking objects. Sometimes it was amazing how quickly the odds could go from one group’s favor to another. Jordan put his arms up in surrender, grudgingly. Carmine did not seem too particularly concerned, though Jordan was planning on smacking his in-law if he found out that Carmine had seen this coming and not warned them.

“So, how much should I play along?” Boomer whispered.

“All out,” Carmine suggested as he let his hands get tied with an old phone cord. “We’re currently safe until dusk.”

“I’m trusting you for now,” Jordan grumbled. He would be able to get out of his extension cord bindings without trying.

“Sorry,” Carmine shrugged as they were led into the alley. “The fact that he has a following makes the situation a little more disconcerting.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Do you dare insult the almighty dark lord?” one of the followers snapped.

“And rather stereotypical.”